What is Friendship
Friendship is an eternal (永恒的) theme (主题) in human history. A life without friendship is hard to imagine. When we approach the notion of friendship, our first problem is that there is a lack of socially acknowledged criteria for what makes a person a friend. In one setting, we may describe someone as a friend; in another, the label may seem less appropriate. To help us understand what friendship really means, we need to review three kinds of friendship
Friendship based on utility. Utility is an impermanent thing: it changes according to circumstances. When the ground for friendship disappears, the friendship also breaks up. Such persons do not spend much time together, because sometimes they do not even like one another, and therefore feel no need of such an association unless they are mutually useful. They take pleasure in each other's company only in so far as they have hopes of advantage from it.
Friendship based on pleasure. Friendship between the young is thought to be grounded on pleasure, because the lives of the young are regulated by their feelings, and their chief interests are in their own pleasure and the opportunity of the moment. As they grow up, however, their tastes change too, so that they are quick to make and to break friendships.
Friendship based on goodness. Perfect friendship is based on goodness. Only the friendship of those who are good, and similar in their goodness, is perfect. Such friendships are rare and they need time and intimacy; for as the saying goes, true friends must go through trials and tribulations together. The wish for friendship may develop rapidly, but true friendship does not.
Thus, we may see that the traditional idea of friendship is made up of three components: Friends must enjoy each other's company; they must be useful to one another; and they must share a commitment to the good. According to three kind of views, virtuous friends are bound together, as they recognize each other's moral excellence. To perceive a friend, therefore, is to perceive oneself; and to know a friend is to know self. Each can be said to provide a mirror in which the other may see himself.